Do you ever get angry at God for not letting you have more control over things?
Well... I confess... I sure do!
How terrifying it is to admit this though, because in essence I am trying to BE God when I think that somehow I could do things better than Him.
Eeks!
My heart has been at a hard cross road these last couple of weeks, questioning and wondering why things are the way that they are. Oh how evil creeps into life and it can be so overwhelming sometimes, and yet, it's all about perspective isn't it? Am I going to choose to see things from my earthly, physical eyes, to look at life as if my view is all that there is OR am I going to seek out Gods view on things? This is the great debate! Every second of every day the battle lines are drawn and my heart is under fire. It doesn't get easier does it? The decisions only intensify as you grow older, because life only gets shorter as each day passes by. So, who will I choose to worship? Who will I choose to trust? Myself or God?!
Scary isn't it? When the question is out in front of your face like that... You begin to relate to Satan himself... Yikes!
So here I am. Sitting at the crossroad again... I want to choose Jesus! In everyway, everyday! But I am like Peter, denying my friendship with Him when the going gets tough...
All I can say is forgive me Lord...
My heart weeps as I realize who I am without you...
In comparison of Matthew 27 and Psalm 21: Jesus wore a crown of thorns...
but "placed a crown of pure gold" on our heads. In what looked like defeat, Jesus was put on a cross... but He has Won, He is alive again: "how great is our joy in the victories You give!"
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:20, 21 NLT)
