A New Way of Seeing Things...

First of all, I hereby testify that having a second child is beautiful, miraculous.... and very humbling...  If I ever came across to any of you as having it all together- forgive me now- because I don't!  I am a broken individual in need of a perfect Savior every single day (Yay Jesus!).  Oh the beautiful honesty of it all- I smile because it's such a relief to remember that God didn't call me to have it all together!  God has called me to follow Him and not let anything else get in the way of doing so wholeheartedly.  Every moment is a moment of grace and I need Jesus as much as ever. 

Here is an example story: while things have all been going amazingly smooth with all the recent changes in my house hold, yesterday I started coming down with a nursing infection :/ from the outside it may have looked like I was falling apart... but honestly, it was really quite relieving to just sob a little as I made Nico and I some oatmeal...  I just cried helplessly and peacefully while Nico was singing to himself at the table (precious boy!).  You see, ever since I've had Saphira I really haven't been able to cry at all- which was lovely for awhile- but then, the tears just needed to come yesterday and that was refreshing too!  Sometimes it's just healing in itself to be broken before God and admit that I need Him- completely!  God has to get my attention and remind me that I am not to be living in my own physical or emotional strength...  but in His strength that outlasts our frail bodies and ever changing emotions...  

Also, God is getting me re-acquainted with the realization that I am actually supposed to say "I don't know" sometimes...  because I don't have all the answers... Only He does!  This reformation has been taking hold in many areas of my life- marriage, parenting, family relationships, prayer and bible times, worship, ministry, evangelistic ideals, and my own personal fears of the unknown...  Does anyone else feel me here- do you have fears of the unknown?  

Jesus has truly been reshaping my heart to practice trusting Him more fully when I am faced with the unknown!  Truly, whenever I do trust Him openly and unashamedly through the unknown, He is faithful and never leaves me alone.  God is good- all the time!  Do you believe that?  I pray you will taste and see His goodness too :)

So, to finish the story of my break down and sickness yesterday- I am excited to say that I am miraculously better today!  Also, by Gods amazing workings, my hubby came home early at 1pm (I didn't even tell him I was sick) it "just worked out that way" and he let me take a lovely nap.  Then as a family we were able to spend a restful afternoon together, tinkering on little projects and cuddling as we talked on the couch. 

I don't know why God allows things to happen the way that they do, but I am so very grateful He stays with us every step of the way!  Oh that I would truly seek Him and remember my need for Him all the time.  May you and your family see His blessings as you trust Him through the unknown...  even when things look bleak...  May His light shine brightly in your heart and all around you!

"... Try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 

...Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 

making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

(Ephesians 5:10, 15-17 ESV)

By the way, here is a "Bekah version" about what I understand to be the history on the word Halloween; for those of you who are curious.  I just discovered that it means Hallowed Evening because it's the evening before all saints day.  As you may know, in different cultures (for example the Jewish culture) a special day is actually celebrated from sundown to sundown (a full 24 hour period) rather then our western ways of celebrating a special day from sun up until sun down, the evening is when the special day is first recognized.  All saints day, as a Catholic holiday, is a day to remember those who have died in The Lord.  And therefore, as I like to remember also, will be risen to life with Jesus when He comes again.  

The name All Hallowed Evening was shortened to Hallows Even over the years, then Hallowe'en...  And finally Halloween as we know it today!  

Anyway, I just thought that all of this was fascinating, so I wanted to share.  It also made me really want to start saying Happy Halloween- because it's basically like saying happy holy evening (similar to happy holiday- which means happy holy day).  Everyday is truly holy when we remember and celebrate Jesus- His life, His death, and His resurrection!  It's so awesome that we have special days every year to mark all three of these events: Christmas for Jesus' birth into life, Halloween to remember His death and all those who have died in His name, and Easter to celebrate Jesus' amazing return to life and then heaven, where He is now preparing a place for those who trust in Him!  May you trust Jesus and celebrate Him too, today and always :) Happy Halloween!!!

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." (Isaiah 43:19 NLT)

Saphira Nadine's Birth Story

After three weeks of hibernating away, I thought I would finally post again.  God is good!  My baby girl is here :) also, my family and I are all changed for the better since her arrival.

This story is the best I can do for now of a short summary on Saphira's birth- it was such a crazy whirlwind adventure!  I may add more details later, but these are the initial thoughts I've been able to jot down.  Praising God today and always for His blessings:

😋

When my third contraction hit at 12:50am, I had an inkling that labor was actually starting, but it wasn't until almost an hour later when I realized things were getting more intense faster then they had with my first labor.  Even two hours into my three hour labor though, I don't think either Jer or I thought that meant our baby was going to come quite as fast as she did!  So we were pacing ourselves for a longer haul- maybe like 10 hours or so.  Boy were we headed into a surprise!

As we laid big brother Nico down in the bedroom with my sister, his auntie Bethie, he started crying and getting upset so I tried to lay down next to him and comfort him.  My contractions were so hard though, I was breathing like a crazy person trying to focus and relax through them.  Beth told me later that she sure was hoping my contractions weren't easy ones at that point because they looked really hard and my face squinted with pressure in the shadows across from her.

I tried to sneak out of the room but Nico didn't stay asleep!  As much as I wanted to lay down and comfort my first little boy, my body was telling me I needed to get out and get focused again.  So I left Nico with Bethie and Jer in the other room, letting them care for him.  

Meanwhile my mom had been trying to call the midwives but my phone was being weird and it wasn't letting her get through to their pager.  I could hear my mom talking and trying to figure out my phone as I felt the urgent need to spread out my birth blanket across the bed.  I started feeling like I was going to make a mess everywhere so it was a relief to have a place to spread out on.

While facing a few contractions in my room on my own, I could feel my body writhing as I started to actually get a rush of panic (I'm thinking this was while I was going through transition) and I quite literally cried out to God!  As I did so, I was reminded that I wasn't alone and I heard myself repeat over and over "God is with us."  As I pictured speaking to Saphira, I felt a beautiful peace cover us as the contraction ended.  Truly God was with us and that was exactly what I needed to remember!

Mom came to check on me and I said I was good but that the contractions were hard.  Jeremy came in and out trying to get the birthing tub in the room.  My contractions felt closer together- short, but strong.

Pretty sure it was the next contraction, after everyone had walked out again, that I tried pushing and it actually felt good!  Jeremy was getting the plastic for the floor but my mom walked through the room to check on me again and I told her with shock and excitement: "I think I just tried pushing."  As I look back now, I can see a flash of panic in her eyes, but she responded calmly with an: "okay Bekah, just do what your body is telling you to do." 

My mom was quickly rushing about.  Jer came in and started laying out some plastic on the floor for the birthing tub.  I just looked at him in between contractions and said "She is coming!  There's not enough time!"  

The midwives called back right around this time and we updated them on where I was in labor, they quickly told Jeremy they were on their way but that he should probably call 911 just to have some medical expertise on hand.  Overhearing all this, I started muttering about how I wanted a water birth and I didn't want to go to the hospital!  My mom walked through again and I moaned "I think I'm going to die.  Pretty sure I felt that way only because I refused to try pushing on that next contraction.  She firmly reminded me that I was not going to die but that I should go along with my body, after all it had done this before!  With her positive reminder I pushed again on the next contraction and my water broke.  

Everything rushed quickly after my water broke!  On the next two contractions her head crowned and then she was out- it felt like she flew- and my mom attested to the fact that she practically did fly out because her two hands pushed forward from either side of her head as she came into the world.  My mom caught Saphira with her bare hands at about 3:10am and exclaimed later on that her head felt just like velvet.  All I could do was laugh with shock and joy that my baby girl was actually here!

...

More excitement happened after this, but I will spare you any more details for now.  We are happy to have Saphira here- healthy and thriving!  Hallelujah :) Ten pounds and already wearing 3 month old clothes- that's my baby girl.

Happy 3 weeks little lady!!