Questions and Grace...

How do you plan out your time?

What gets you excited about getting up in the morning?

Why?

When did you start caring about the things you care about each day?

Who do you most often share life with?

Is there a pattern in the answers above?  Or are you more in a season of spontaneity?  

I often wonder about my life...  the changes that have taken place, the things that will happen in the future, how to best prepare and be ready with the decisions I make day to day.  Sometimes that means sleeping a lot, preparing, practicing, and more rest at home again for the busyness of what is ahead...  and other times that means cramming in loads of calendar time, back to back, for all the many people and things that I am in love with, obligated to, excited for and passionate about!  

Yesterday was more of a rest day for me and my kiddos, they were just not feeling 100%... and the down time has got me thinking about a lot of different things...  travelling, celebrating, inviting, gathering friends and family, starting new habits, continuing in things I have put on hold, challenging my kids and playing with them more, date nights, holidays, wintertime, moving, worship times, praying purposefully and more often, living smaller, more intentionally, really slowing down more and listening...  

Life used to feel fairly black and white to me as a young girl and even as a young adult, but as I grow older with each year I feel this soft stirring that life is so much bigger and more colorful than I have ever believed it to be!

A verse comes to mind, and really, if you would just google search this whole chapter in Ephesians 3 that would be amazing:

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21...  What a prayer!  Trusting God's Powerful working above what we can even ask or imagine!  Do you?  I sure want too!  From generation to generation and forever...  can we even comprehend what this really means?  The weight of eternity makes me want to really slow down in this next season...

While it may seem that I share a lot of my life out in the open for all to see, the truth is I have spent a lot of my life in the quiet, in the lonely, in the unseen day to day of living at home and serving at home as well as in the church building setting.  The older I get the more I realize that this is not as normal as I have thought, this is unique and special and I pray deeply that I can submit this quiet, wondering, peacefulness (for the most part (; ) to be used by the Lord in Mighty ways for His Glory!

Please correct me if I am wrong, but American life is so often characterized by the spotlight media and the status quo of checks and balances- spent under contract from one person to the next, committed time, ordered days, pointing out the normal and the special, labels, shows, ideas, all sold for a price...  these things can be good or evil but for love... and yet, who can find love in a system that boasts of self alone and glorifying our own namesakes, rather than acknowledging the One who made us?  

What is Love?  Intimacy?  Friendship?  Loyalty?  When the next newest thing is always coming out?  What do we do with the old?  Do we cherish our history or toss it away, outdated, unneeded?  

How much do we leave up to faith in God anyway?  

My life has been such a gift of privacy, thoughtfulness, slowness, provision, grace, conversation, stillness and hope... 

Even now, I don't always know what to make of this reality that I do not have to strive to be loved though, even with the sweetest of families and home lives, why is this truth so hard to comprehend?

I am loved by grace through faith...  oh to hold tight, speak this truth openly, and live like I have learned it by heart already...  even though my heart is so forgetful!

How do we take all that we have learned with us and share it wholeheartedly, lovingly, softly with others?

Grace, grace, grace...  an eternity of grace!

Can we even grasp this reality?  Amidst all our questions, understandings, experiences...  it's all grace!  

What a blessed truth to lay my head into tonight!

I hope my silly ramblings will inspire you to slow down and lay out your thoughts and questions too!

Jesus makes this possible, to ramble, to wonder, and to find Hope again... thank you GOD!  Your grace is sufficient in my weakness...

Amen.

Snores and Dreams: God Cares

As I lay here on my bed, dreaming of picking up writing again, yes even at this ridiculous hour of 2am, my fingers are beginning to type away- all while my adorable husband snores up a storm right next to me.  Ha!  I am reminded too, that by simply taking this time to stay up, sort through my thoughts, jump out of my normal groove and focus in on the blessings of freedom and love that I have been given and worked towards in my life, that...  just wow!  I never imagined things could ever be as hard or as rewarding as they have turned out to be.

You see, when I dreamed of, as a young girl, becoming a mother some day...  it was a picture of myself all grown up, well-groomed, organized, mini-van driving, soccer mom of 5 boys all for whom I pre-planned and packed an ice chest of great snacks and favorite drinks!  This would then happen every weekend for their entire childhood (apparently, my one job would be just this) I would cheer each of my boys on as they played soccer and I would watch them in wonder from the sidelines!  Of course, that was just the mother-bit of my daydreams, let alone my ideas of being a wife... it seems I only thought of meeting some dishy guy in college who would sweep me off my feet...  and not until college, surely, because I was much too young for marriage before I finished my 4 year degree... the rest of our love story, or so I was convinced, would obviously end well, because, after all, we would be in love- of course...  and that was about as far as my vision would go for my future family- at least from this very small perspective of my middle school self.  I mean, to be fair, it really IS hard to imagine up any kind of reality for our super random, wild, adventure filled lives- especially years and years down the road!

Okay, so, one of my points in re-hashing all of the above is simply to prove how vague and somewhat naive our dreams can be!  I mean even reading back on this VERY blog, where I shared little blips of getting our bus together THREE YEARS AGO, makes me kind of giggle with the remembrance of what it felt like to be in that giddy unknown of adventures before us... but months later, actually years now, seeing where we were and where we have come, the true length of all the endurance, hope and work it takes to "make dreams happen" is really hard-core hitting me straight in the face.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing either, but wow is it right up in front of me!  All of the uprooting that has taken place in my life and walking by faith...  oh my friends!  Stepping out in faith, through the mess and the unknowns, this is life-changing business and it makes the familiar into the unfamiliar which makes for a very uncomfortable feeling at times... so if you like to be comfortable than stick with the familiar, until one day you realize there is nothing comfortable about the familiar anymore either...  oh dear!  Times just change around us, even when we do not want them too, don't they?

This brings me to my second point: Enjoy Dreaming (AKA learn to enjoy CHANGES)! 

Obviously our crazy ideas will never be detailed enough to compare with the reality ahead (unless God SO reveals Himself), but this is why the phrase "leap of faith" fits so well with following, what often times tends to be, emotionally heightened picturesque dreams...  it is a literal "leap" for our psyche to jump out of what feels normal in order to gamble with the future on our own out-of-the-ordinary terms...  I mean when I put it that way, who would rather let their futures be dictated completely by unforeseen circumstances... oh wait, that is all of us!  Ha!  And yes, it IS really late, you are right, and I do feel like I could ramble on and on like this with my silly stream of conciousness all night, but then...  there is this loud snoring coming from my bear like husband next to me (cuddly type of bear, not too fierce), so its hard to really think clearly about anything!

Oh and in case you missed my first point: Dreams can be Vague and Naive...  which I am not even sure how to make a judgement about at this time, because honestly I have no idea whether that is a good thing or a bad thing (to have vague and naive dreams)...  but I digress.

So far this blog post has been such a goof though, basically because my beginning entry, middle school silly girlhood story and then my two main dream lessons consist entirely of this most unimpressive analysis that I am content to be: 'Enjoying Dreaming even if it is Naive and Vague"...  and now my friends, you can see in plain sight why I have not started blogging regularly again, because it would seem that my mommy brain cells have still not recovered from everything in regards to mommy-ing and wife-ing...  And yet, here I remain...  determined to keep typing and to be unconquered by my own nonsense and mediocrity!

Isn't this half the battle with a dream-like goal, after all, to ACTUALLY continue forward, even when you feel that you are failing miserably (and may even be doing so)!?

Maybe THAT is what this post is REALLY all about though!
Ha!

Deep down inside, I have been wondering over and over again, "what if you just try to write again" and in reply, yes, I have heard that infamous voice inside of me that says, "yes, but what if you fail miserably"...  And yet...

And yet!

"What if I DO just try!?"

In fact... what if I keep on trying, even after I have tried, and then what if I try yet again...  until finally I may begin to succeed...  and then, in one glorious sentence, I finally start to make sense to someone!

Then, wouldn't it all be worth it then-
Even if I look like a complete and utter fool during the majority of my writing process!?
It would all be worth it to CONNECT wholeheartedly and vulnerably with just ONE!

Yes!!!
Yes, yes, and yes...
"Yes" to the reality of my foolishness, "Yes" to continue trying to write and "Yes" to the wonderful glory of actually making sense and connecting with someone in a way that is totally and wholly my own!

TRY IT!

What are you dreaming?
Keep it up...
Enjoy the process!
Push through the vague, strange and foolish...
Do not stop until your trying turns into Learning and eventually Succeeding.

Afterall, how can we fail, if we are still always learning...  no indeed, we only fail when we entirely give up...  so press on!  Don't Give Up!  Keep Trying!  Whatever Good thing you are aiming for, if it is truly GOOD, then it is a gift from God and you CAN receive it if you don't stop asking- make some noise; do not stop seeking- be committed; and do not stop knocking- take some action, bang on some doors and shake things up until they open for you!

That is my plan for now, so...  come, watch and see...  will this work?
What other crazy can I come up with?
If I just keep writing...  only God knows!

Yes indeed, we are all seen and known by a miraculous God...
He is the I AM to all my "am not"s - HA!
Praise God!

I forget this too often!

Not only to praise God but that God cares enough to share His Perfect self with me and He doesnt owe me anything!

Oh how much I really DO care that God cares!
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How about you?
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Isaiah 45:7: "I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things."

Platform of Love

Love is an amazing platform to discuss just about every single topic!  When a friend and I stand together, united in love, the conversations we have are changed completely in tone.  Offering yourself humbly to someone else by telling them that you love them, opens a doorway into a place of peace and grace...  Even if you both disagree on things!  Has anyone else ever experienced this truth?  

Love in its entirety is lived out when it is acted out in the beautiful definition found in 1 Corinthians 13 (this chapter will probably blow my mind for as long as I live!).  Humor me please as I refresh our memories on the beautiful realities of Love (even for those who don't believe in the Bible, I think we can all agree that what is described here is a profound definition of love): 

"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it has no pride, love does not demand its own way, it does not seek its own, it's not easily provoked, it keeps no record of wrongs, speaks no evil, and rejoices in the truth, it bears and believes in all things, hopes in all things and endures in all things too" (a lyrical paraphrased version by Beckah Shae- a fav singer of mine- on 1 Corinthians 13).  Amazing right?  Love like that basically stops at nothing to express its devotion, care, beauty- and pretty much anything Good!  Love is Incredible!

So with all that said, I would like to share a couple pictures of our newest addition to the bus, dedicating it before the blogging world, as our Platform of Love:

This special area is where we hope to have the kids bunk beds, a lush carpet/large rug, and a fun play area for our younger guests.  I'm so excited at my hubby's brilliant design and so thankful to the Lord for keeping us going even amidst set backs like colds and craziness.  Lol.  Prayers for perseverance until the end are much appreciated!  One day I hope everyone who reads this will be able to have dinner with us in our future home ;) may our love be pure towards you all as God has shown His love so powerfully in our own lives...  We love you!  Xoxo

P.S.

I am hoping that this little gem makes it into the bus too:

Blessings to you friends!!!

Groundwork for the Future!

Hello friends!

How are you?  I wish I could bring you all alongside me and dance and sing with you- tools in hand- as we work on this little bus house together!  Since that isn't "really" a viable option at the moment though (only a few more people could realistically fit in here lol) I thought I would at least post some new pictures of our crazy family time yesterday...

Drill until you drop- our motto for this weekend- that is, Saphira actually dropped off to sleep while people were still drilling!  That's a pretty sure sign that even just a couple hours of working on the bus can make a whole body pretty weary.  Seriously though, after trying my hand at screwing wood into the metal floor, I was blown away at how difficult it was to do!  I am super impressed with my husband at his ability to use all his weight and strength to actually drill through the wood and metal to anchor our subflooring.  Laying a foundation is hard but it is also very rewarding!  

Our cherry wood floor is so close I can almost see it underneath my feet ;) With that said, however, we have a full schedule set out for us today!  Sometimes it's easy to let myself feel like we will never get this bus floor done, but at the same time, it's so important to remind myself that laying our foundation is basically the most important part to all the rest of our building (in life and in our bus- lol).  So, I am thankful that we are (especially my husband is) taking the time to really put our flooring in right- that is, to the very best of his knowledge and abilities!

Anyway, there you have it, a little picture story and a few words on our unexpected family work day yesterday.  We have a long way to go, but we are excited to be on this journey.  I keep reminding myself that life is a process, so whatever we do in word or in deed, do it all for the Glory of God :)

We pray for you and thank the Lord for your friendship and support!  Keep persevering forward with Jesus,

Your sister in Him,

Bekah

2015 Theme Words!

Hello friend!

I wanted to post a little something to share and hopefully get some feedback from you!  I recently read a blog that talked about coming up with a word to help inspire you for this New Year (or a "few" words) instead of doing the traditional resolution list.  Then, shortly after reading the blog, I heard that same idea, about choosing a theme word or phrase, discussed by some show hosts on my local radio!  Finally, after thinking and praying a bit, I was convinced that I needed to write down a few words of my own!  So here are the five Words that seem to be following me through January.

2015:

Bold, 

Adventurous, 

Thankful,

Mysterious, 

Grace!

Most of all Gods Grace though :) 

Jesus still trumps every thought in my heart and honestly all the words above really inspire me because they remind me of Gods Glory ...  Not to sound too sappy and in love, but it's true!  Anyway, I can peacefully settle with those words as a hearty and fitting theme for the year to come and I hope to use them as building blocks for new words next year.  ;)

How about you though?  What words or ideas are attracting you right now?  What do you keep coming back to?  And why? 

Stay focused on His Goodness and Glory!  Let me know what comes to mind :) Love in Him, Bekah

Pioneers through Rust and Dust

Can you relate?  

Do you feel like a Pioneer in any specific area of your life right now?  Have you ever stopped to observe the dust or rust around you?  :)

Well, that has been our latest experience in the Boss household- pioneering through rust and dust!  Grinding down the metal flooring, getting it smooth and then sweeping up over and over again was probably one of Jeremy's least favorite parts of our bus project, but He did it!  

Hoorah!  My husband conquered the demolition of our bus flooring and now we are starting in on the build and design process!  We are soooo excited :)

Our pioneering is starting to show signs of success and not just mess- haha.

For instance: 

Its just a garage floor epoxy paint from Home Depot and it's not even the final look, but wouldn't you agree that our bus has a totally new "first impression" now?

Also, speaking of new impressions, did I mention yet that our bus has found a temporary work home at the Sanchez Farm?  Talk about an amazing backdrop for our moving castle!  Shout out to Mike and Maegan for sharing their space, stuff, and super awesome ideas with us.  Uncle Mark has jumped on board and started helping out too!  Thank you guys for spending time on our future home :)

As of right now, we are still on target to move out of our current house and into our new one on wheels by June!  Please keep us in your prayers though and if you ever want to tag along or come help out feel free to contact me or my hubby.  We are thrilled about all that God has planned for 2015!  Happy New Year to you all and Keep Pioneering ;)

Bus Plans in His Hands...

Although I haven't been too faithful about writing lately my family and I have been slowly continuing our bond with the bus in our yard.  In fact we had our first Mexican food dinner inside our little castle over this last three day weekend!  Then yesterday evening we got all motivated and took out about 8 seats.  

One step at a time we are taking them out and now we only have a third of them left!  Also, did I mention that a local coffee shop (Symposium in Sherwood) will be taking our bus seats?  They won't be wasted.  I'm super excited to see what my friend Amanda will do with them.  

As you can see we have lots to do still, but the plans are coming together day by day.  Our latest crazy thought is to tear up the floor, lay down plastic, plywood, and a dark epoxy paint with glow in the dark glitter blown in as it's all laid down.  Research shows it's one of the best water proof floorings for an interior, so that's the party bus plan for now.  Anyway, we have an open house work day this Saturday morning and hope to get the last of the bus seats out!  I'm planning to update again soon with pictures of the cleared floor.  I can hardly wait!  Until then though, enjoy your week and keep praying for our plans to follow Gods hands- xoxo.