What would you say?

If you could send one message to the whole world- a message that would be megaphoned into every home- what would it be?  I can't help thinking about the simple phrase- "Jesus Loves You"...  And what would our world look like if everyone actually knew that?  Obviously not everyone understands His Love when they hear about it- my whole life I have been learning new sides of His Love.  "Jesus Loves You" seems like a modern day cultural tag line in America, but it is more than that!  It is truth.  Truth sets us free!  The reality is that many people still have no idea about the simple and yet profound "I love you" message that Jesus brings.

How has Jesus' message of "I love you" changed my own life?  In every possible way!  Love changes everything you know ;) 

For example:

I actually want to live and to live to the fullest when I remember that I am loved fully with a purposeful and undying love from my Creator...

Hate dissipates when I remember that I am loved and that I am loved in such an all consuming way that my God would come and die for me just to prove His forgiveness over my selfish sins...

When I remember I am loved by the Savior who I wounded by my sins, I am filled with hope- hope that redeems the time, moving past my failures and making it possible by His strength to live successfully in His righteousness, in His grace alone.

Truth is found in the Love of God, truth that opens doors to a reality that I would overlook without Him!  There is a spiritual world past our flesh... Our souls were made for God... and without Him, there is empty pleasure.  My soul will never know it's full meaning- in this life or eternity- if I don't realize His Love and desire to love Him in return!

Jesus Loves You!

What will you say?

...

25 versus 15

Being 25 isn't really all that different from being 15.  I'm still falling in love all the time with Jeremy and I still want to read through the Bible every year.  My voice still loves to sing and my heart longs to travel the world.  No, 15 and 25 just don't seem to be all that different inside.

The difference only begins to take form as I look around me.  Married for three years with two precious children now, living in Oregon, and our own cozy home.    Bills, menus, calendar to-do's, along with extra laundry and dishes.  This doesn't look like 15 anymore!  My clothes are a little bit bigger too ;p but that's normal right?  Lol.

Inside though, I still want to just read and write, then read and write some more.  I still dream of being an amazing cook and a clear communicator.  My thoughts are never too far from chocolate and new adventures.  Facing fears is something I want to do every day.  I want to explore and learn and grow.  Laugh and jump and dance!  25 just doesn't sound right for how young I still feel.  

Where has the time gone?  And where will it go?  It's crazy to think that the next 25 years of my life may feel even faster than these first 25.  How does it feel to be outside of time?  To be timeless?!  And then, shouldn't I feel that way now, timeless?  Won't we all live for eternity, one way or another?!

I'm thinking yes ;) 

Doing What is Important...

How is it that with two kiddos I still have moments of peace and quiet?  Even with the laundry loaded and the dishes running in the dishwasher.  It kind of feels like a miracle!

What a blessing to be able to rest.  I don't want to make you busy people feel tired, lol, but you probably know as well as I do that rest is a serious blessing.  Sometimes it's hard for me to take advantage of the quiet and peace in front of me, but I want to thank The Lord when it's crazy and when it's still!  Truly He is my refuge whatever moment I am in...

A New Way of Seeing Things...

First of all, I hereby testify that having a second child is beautiful, miraculous.... and very humbling...  If I ever came across to any of you as having it all together- forgive me now- because I don't!  I am a broken individual in need of a perfect Savior every single day (Yay Jesus!).  Oh the beautiful honesty of it all- I smile because it's such a relief to remember that God didn't call me to have it all together!  God has called me to follow Him and not let anything else get in the way of doing so wholeheartedly.  Every moment is a moment of grace and I need Jesus as much as ever. 

Here is an example story: while things have all been going amazingly smooth with all the recent changes in my house hold, yesterday I started coming down with a nursing infection :/ from the outside it may have looked like I was falling apart... but honestly, it was really quite relieving to just sob a little as I made Nico and I some oatmeal...  I just cried helplessly and peacefully while Nico was singing to himself at the table (precious boy!).  You see, ever since I've had Saphira I really haven't been able to cry at all- which was lovely for awhile- but then, the tears just needed to come yesterday and that was refreshing too!  Sometimes it's just healing in itself to be broken before God and admit that I need Him- completely!  God has to get my attention and remind me that I am not to be living in my own physical or emotional strength...  but in His strength that outlasts our frail bodies and ever changing emotions...  

Also, God is getting me re-acquainted with the realization that I am actually supposed to say "I don't know" sometimes...  because I don't have all the answers... Only He does!  This reformation has been taking hold in many areas of my life- marriage, parenting, family relationships, prayer and bible times, worship, ministry, evangelistic ideals, and my own personal fears of the unknown...  Does anyone else feel me here- do you have fears of the unknown?  

Jesus has truly been reshaping my heart to practice trusting Him more fully when I am faced with the unknown!  Truly, whenever I do trust Him openly and unashamedly through the unknown, He is faithful and never leaves me alone.  God is good- all the time!  Do you believe that?  I pray you will taste and see His goodness too :)

So, to finish the story of my break down and sickness yesterday- I am excited to say that I am miraculously better today!  Also, by Gods amazing workings, my hubby came home early at 1pm (I didn't even tell him I was sick) it "just worked out that way" and he let me take a lovely nap.  Then as a family we were able to spend a restful afternoon together, tinkering on little projects and cuddling as we talked on the couch. 

I don't know why God allows things to happen the way that they do, but I am so very grateful He stays with us every step of the way!  Oh that I would truly seek Him and remember my need for Him all the time.  May you and your family see His blessings as you trust Him through the unknown...  even when things look bleak...  May His light shine brightly in your heart and all around you!

"... Try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 

...Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 

making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

(Ephesians 5:10, 15-17 ESV)

By the way, here is a "Bekah version" about what I understand to be the history on the word Halloween; for those of you who are curious.  I just discovered that it means Hallowed Evening because it's the evening before all saints day.  As you may know, in different cultures (for example the Jewish culture) a special day is actually celebrated from sundown to sundown (a full 24 hour period) rather then our western ways of celebrating a special day from sun up until sun down, the evening is when the special day is first recognized.  All saints day, as a Catholic holiday, is a day to remember those who have died in The Lord.  And therefore, as I like to remember also, will be risen to life with Jesus when He comes again.  

The name All Hallowed Evening was shortened to Hallows Even over the years, then Hallowe'en...  And finally Halloween as we know it today!  

Anyway, I just thought that all of this was fascinating, so I wanted to share.  It also made me really want to start saying Happy Halloween- because it's basically like saying happy holy evening (similar to happy holiday- which means happy holy day).  Everyday is truly holy when we remember and celebrate Jesus- His life, His death, and His resurrection!  It's so awesome that we have special days every year to mark all three of these events: Christmas for Jesus' birth into life, Halloween to remember His death and all those who have died in His name, and Easter to celebrate Jesus' amazing return to life and then heaven, where He is now preparing a place for those who trust in Him!  May you trust Jesus and celebrate Him too, today and always :) Happy Halloween!!!

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." (Isaiah 43:19 NLT)

Saphira Nadine's Birth Story

After three weeks of hibernating away, I thought I would finally post again.  God is good!  My baby girl is here :) also, my family and I are all changed for the better since her arrival.

This story is the best I can do for now of a short summary on Saphira's birth- it was such a crazy whirlwind adventure!  I may add more details later, but these are the initial thoughts I've been able to jot down.  Praising God today and always for His blessings:

😋

When my third contraction hit at 12:50am, I had an inkling that labor was actually starting, but it wasn't until almost an hour later when I realized things were getting more intense faster then they had with my first labor.  Even two hours into my three hour labor though, I don't think either Jer or I thought that meant our baby was going to come quite as fast as she did!  So we were pacing ourselves for a longer haul- maybe like 10 hours or so.  Boy were we headed into a surprise!

As we laid big brother Nico down in the bedroom with my sister, his auntie Bethie, he started crying and getting upset so I tried to lay down next to him and comfort him.  My contractions were so hard though, I was breathing like a crazy person trying to focus and relax through them.  Beth told me later that she sure was hoping my contractions weren't easy ones at that point because they looked really hard and my face squinted with pressure in the shadows across from her.

I tried to sneak out of the room but Nico didn't stay asleep!  As much as I wanted to lay down and comfort my first little boy, my body was telling me I needed to get out and get focused again.  So I left Nico with Bethie and Jer in the other room, letting them care for him.  

Meanwhile my mom had been trying to call the midwives but my phone was being weird and it wasn't letting her get through to their pager.  I could hear my mom talking and trying to figure out my phone as I felt the urgent need to spread out my birth blanket across the bed.  I started feeling like I was going to make a mess everywhere so it was a relief to have a place to spread out on.

While facing a few contractions in my room on my own, I could feel my body writhing as I started to actually get a rush of panic (I'm thinking this was while I was going through transition) and I quite literally cried out to God!  As I did so, I was reminded that I wasn't alone and I heard myself repeat over and over "God is with us."  As I pictured speaking to Saphira, I felt a beautiful peace cover us as the contraction ended.  Truly God was with us and that was exactly what I needed to remember!

Mom came to check on me and I said I was good but that the contractions were hard.  Jeremy came in and out trying to get the birthing tub in the room.  My contractions felt closer together- short, but strong.

Pretty sure it was the next contraction, after everyone had walked out again, that I tried pushing and it actually felt good!  Jeremy was getting the plastic for the floor but my mom walked through the room to check on me again and I told her with shock and excitement: "I think I just tried pushing."  As I look back now, I can see a flash of panic in her eyes, but she responded calmly with an: "okay Bekah, just do what your body is telling you to do." 

My mom was quickly rushing about.  Jer came in and started laying out some plastic on the floor for the birthing tub.  I just looked at him in between contractions and said "She is coming!  There's not enough time!"  

The midwives called back right around this time and we updated them on where I was in labor, they quickly told Jeremy they were on their way but that he should probably call 911 just to have some medical expertise on hand.  Overhearing all this, I started muttering about how I wanted a water birth and I didn't want to go to the hospital!  My mom walked through again and I moaned "I think I'm going to die.  Pretty sure I felt that way only because I refused to try pushing on that next contraction.  She firmly reminded me that I was not going to die but that I should go along with my body, after all it had done this before!  With her positive reminder I pushed again on the next contraction and my water broke.  

Everything rushed quickly after my water broke!  On the next two contractions her head crowned and then she was out- it felt like she flew- and my mom attested to the fact that she practically did fly out because her two hands pushed forward from either side of her head as she came into the world.  My mom caught Saphira with her bare hands at about 3:10am and exclaimed later on that her head felt just like velvet.  All I could do was laugh with shock and joy that my baby girl was actually here!

...

More excitement happened after this, but I will spare you any more details for now.  We are happy to have Saphira here- healthy and thriving!  Hallelujah :) Ten pounds and already wearing 3 month old clothes- that's my baby girl.

Happy 3 weeks little lady!!

"Overdue" musings...

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts You." - Isaiah 26:3

Isn't that a perfect verse to find in my devotional this morning?

God is full of surprises!  I really hadn't even thought twice about seeing this date- September 19th, 2013- without my little girl in my arms... but now I can say I am experiencing a new adventure.  Today I am officially "overdue," that is, i am still pregnant past my original due date.  Now I am just an extra ripe berry- Saphira will be super sweet!  Haha.  Or as my sister's friend said: "God is just adding some extra special touches."  Lol.

Such a strange thing to be "late" with my second baby though, after having been early (even if it was only two days) with my first.  Also, usually boys are late...  but I am having a girl!  What's up with this?  My mom was three weeks early with her second girl and I have her genes, so, truly, this is unexpected.  However, after 24 years of life I have at least learned one thing: the seemingly unplanned is not out of God's plan!

yes, that ironic reminder of my lack of control to make labor start on my own.  I mean, yes, there are suggestions on things you can do naturally- and they have been done- but unless I want medication or something obtrusive, then there really isn't much else I can do on my own now but wait!  And if I have to wait, I would much prefer to do so patiently.  It's funny though, I have had to remind myself that a due date is not a deadline...  obviously!  This isn't a college paper- we are talking about pregnancy here... Labor... and birthing a baby.  Lol.  It's funny how I have had to remind myself and be reminded that its okay to be late though, because when you have had a certain date stuck in your brain for awhile, it's hard to just forget it!

Oh and another unexpected and funny thing: any little change in body is suddenly a sign of "pre-labor."  Runny nose- yep, must be ready for the baby...  Lol.  Tight belly when baby moves- must be a contraction!  And, every moment is a possibility of bursting...  I'm a walking time bomb or as people like to remind me: "ready to pop!"  Yes, everyone has to wait for this baby, right alongside with me, it's just a funny place to be in as the actual body with the waiting piece inside of you.  As Nico likes to say with me: "Come, Fiera, come." Lol.

So, jumping ahead here, maybe Jeremy and I will steal away and get a date night in tonight.  Dates are wonderful, lovely, fabulous things!  It's not like there aren't still plenty of things to do without a newborn around- even though...  I really would like to hold her, see her, and kiss her sweet little face.  Also, there are still thank you cards to write out for all my kind an thoughtful friends who came to her baby shower...  and I had an idea to make a baby blanket out of some old gender neutral baby clothes of Nico's.  Not to mention, Nico and I could still use some "mommy and me" play dates before little sister comes.  

Anyway, all that to say, I am sure that God will provide exactly what it is that we need to do before Saphira is here.  Just as He will give wisdom and strength when she comes.  He is faithful and can see the full picture of what is ahead, so, may "His peace" be what my mind "stays on" always!

And really, waiting on Him is exactly where I should always be in life...  Whether pregnant or not!

"... Hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore." - Psalm 131:3

"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 

And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." 

(Romans 8:25-28 ESV)

Amen!

Listening and Obeying... In the Days of My Flesh...

"In the days of His flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, 

with loud cries and tears, 

to Him who was able to save Him from death, 

and He was heard because of His reverence. 

Although He was a son, 

He learned obedience through what He suffered. 

And being made perfect, 

He became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey Him..." 

(Hebrews 5:7-9 ESV)

Am I "listening" to The Lord?  Am I obeying by "hearing" His Words and carrying out their commands?  Obedience is not described easily in these passages but it is defined as essential!

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 

And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 

Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." 

(Philippians 2:5-11 ESV)

Am I living obediently to His humility?  Do I have the "mind of Christ"?  These verses say to "have the mind of Jesus" and that through Jesus it is possible to have His mind!  

So what is within that precious head of His?  Equality with God was not what He reached for, or even imagined ever taking hold of...  Jesus poured Himself out under the strength of Gods authority!  

Am I ready to pour myself out under the strength of God?  Jesus did!  I only pray that I may do so too...

Yes, Jesus became a servant by becoming a man in the flesh.  As human beings, wrapped up in our skin, we are simply meant to serve our Creator.

Aw that beautiful thought- being at peace to be nothing before anyone else, but a servant of God...  Nothing but His!  Are you at peace with this thought?

If everything else was taken from you, could you find solace in the fact that you are under Gods authority and His mighty hand?  I ask myself this same question... Unable to really imagine what it would look like in my life to give all that Jesus gave- freely and so completely- pouring out His life in obedience to God our Father.  

Stuck within my own flesh, it is hard to believe anything good can come from suffering.  Yet Jesus suffered... and He was only good!  When we are in the middle of discomfort and pain, it can often be all-consuming; it is so easy to only focus on what we feel.  Jesus however, even though he openly felt (he wept and cried), did not allow His emotions to consume Him fully- but rather His obedience to God mastered His emotions!  He trusted past His own personal pain and moved forward with the reality that God is God and there is no one else worthy of following.

Oh that my heart and mind will be the same as that of Christ Jesus!  I can think of no better way to prepare for birth and labor...  for life and love...  then to meditate on Gods Word.  Of course, I can do this after my little girl is born, but I am thankful for a few more moments to soak in His truth before she arrives ;) to know that through Jesus and what He has already lived out- I can have His mindset too...  Death is conquered!  There is glory in His precious name...

Thank you Jesus!

"Open to me the gates of righteousness, that I may enter through them and give thanks to the Lord. 

This is the gate of the Lord; the righteous shall enter through it. I thank you that you have answered me and have become my salvation. 

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. 

This is the Lord ’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. 

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Save us, we pray, 

O Lord ! O Lord, we pray, give us success! 

You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for 

His steadfast love endures forever!"

(Psalm 118:19-25, 28, 29 ESV)